Friday, June 15, 2007

BAUGHLUM CHANGES MIND, POSSIBLY ENTIRE BRAIN

Wow. I mean, I just…wow. That’s pretty much all I’ve been able to say for about the last 20 minutes. Granted, we’ve all gotten pretty used to saying “wow” these past few promicin-soaked months, but I don’t think a more shocked or confused utterance has escaped my lips since the day the Ball of White Light first touched down in Washington State.

Rick Baughlum loves promicin.

Yes, you read correctly. That Rick Baughlum. And yes, that promicin — the glowing neurotransmitter harvested from The 4400, not a rock band or TV movie that happens to have the same name. Don’t bother checking the calendar, either, because it’s not April Fool’s Day.

According to Mr. Baughlum, who has spent the past two months doing everything in his power to stamp out promicin and all who use it, “promicin terrorists” are now “brave souls.” “True humans” are now persecutors. The senseless, promicin-induced death of his niece Tiffany, previously the driving force behind all his actions, has been recast as having been “always filled with meaning [and] desire to do good.”

And no pinching or exiting single-file, people, because this is neither a dream nor a drill.

I must admit, Rick does look a bit odd in this clip. Could there be someone just off-camera pointing a gun at him? Are there puppet strings tied to his wrists, or someone’s hand…eh, never mind. Rick, I know you’ve had qualms with accepting this site’s viewpoints into your discourse, but seriously man, I hope you’re all right. If you want to register for the Promicin Info Discussion Forum, we’d still love to have you, buddy. Lots of people are going to be curious about your sudden change of heart…and possibly a couple other organs as well.

VIDEO: Don’t be such a taze! Really, Rick? This guy, this — at the risk of sacrificing my “neutrality” — sick bastard doesn’t rile you up just a teensy bit? Oh Ricky, we hardly knew ye!

And, just because I haven’t said it in a few minutes and I think my dog Ginsberg is starting to miss hearing it:

Wow.

POSTED BY Ted AT 9:30 am 06/15/2007 |

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