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The world is abuzz with news of this week’s legislation, passed by a landslide, banning the possession and use of promicin, as well as the use of any 4400 abilities. While celebrated as a monumental victory by anti-promicin activists (VIDEO), by no means does the new ban stuff the genie back in the vial.
Catching someone with a vial of promicin in her pocket, or a syringe of it in her arm, are pretty cut-and-dry, easy busts. But some have argued that this legislation just opens up a whole new can of worms for law enforcement — could “possession” also be taken to include the promicin now being made by one’s brain and coursing through every capillary? Could donating your promicin-laced blood to save a family member’s life count as “distribution”? And how are we to systematically determine promicin-induced abilities on a large scale? Did the guy who broke the broad-jump world record shoot up some glow-juice, or is he just a really, really great athlete? Is that fellow on the bus reading your mind, or just admiring your haircut? Will stage magicians now have to break their centuries-old code and reveal their secrets, lest they face jail time?
What are we supposed to do now? Let us know what you think about this complex issue that is far from over.
Even more morsels to chew on today:
- VIDEO: Despite the sweeping bills passing in both houses of Congress, Jordan Collier says promicin is here to stay.
- VIDEO: No matter how anti-establishment you are, it’s tough to argue in favor of messing with the FAA’s air traffic safety controls. Should this kid be tried as an adult?
- VIDEO: People are still taking the shot and gleefully discovering their 4400 abilities, they’re just going far outside city limits to do it. How nice for them.
Wow, did you taste a dash of bitterness there? You know, as I was writing that last blurb, it really hit me hard: my 4400 ability is now illegal, and I don’t even know what it is yet. Will I even know if I’m breaking the law? What if it just happens spontaneously? Should I just lock myself in my apartment for the rest of my life? And if so, who will walk Ginsberg?
Damn, the questions just never stop, do they?
10 weeks, still nothin’.
No, I don’t know a Congressional Page with the inside scoop on the legislation, I’m talking about recent cases in which promicin has really mucked things up:
- VIDEO: Dude, you gonna eat that? Don’t worry, Randy, I’m sure you’ll find a use for your ability — and some cleaning products — very soon.
- VIDEO: A bored cubicle drone rises to the occasion. (Just don’t go around showing this video to everyone, okay?)
- ARTICLE: Vegas Rule #1 — The House always wins. As we’ve all seen by now, though, promicin doesn’t always play by the rules.
- ABILITIES: Diamonds are a girl’s best friend…unless Miss Georgia Peach is around.
Are any of our valuables safe any more? Is it time to start stashing canned goods and cash under the mattress? Give us your two cents!
While the American people are still divided over the promicin issue, the chasm is not quite so grand in The Capitol, where concerns of public safety appear poised to trump all other issues once again. Many activists on both sides of the fence seem to think an outright ban on promicin may be a foregone conclusion.
- VIDEO: Congresswoman Marilyn de Freitas reaches across the aisle in an impassioned plea to “stop the madness.”
- VIDEO: A still-holed-up Jordan Collier sees the impending legislation as merely a testament to the righteousness of his cause.
- WEBSITE: PromicinPassion.com Berry Laverra, of “72 O.P.H.” fame, is back with her very own website promoting her unprecedented brand of sex therapy. Better work it while you can, Berry — looks like the clock’s ticking in Washington.
What do you think — will promicin soon be outlawed entirely? How do you feel about it? Let your voice be heard!
Life on the run must be getting to Mr. Collier — did you think he looked a bit more disheveled in this latest video as well? For whatever it’s worth, though, his resolve seems as strong as ever — I don’t think this thorn in Rick Baughlum’s side is going to be plucked any time soon.
Also blooming on the promicin bush today:
- VIDEO: US Attorney Leo Murgia fears that if we don’t shape up, Collier’s still-significant influence might keep illegal promicin distributors on the streets.
- VIDEO: Historically speaking, rock ‘n’ roll and mind-expanding chemicals are not exactly strangers, but could the monkey on Norman Pulchik’s back be day-glow yellow? “Skepto86″ seems to think so.
- ABILITIES: Arizona’s Jimmy Montalvo provides a compelling bookend to this week’s story on Mama Oso — which way will he use his ability?
